Questions and Answers

Am I hurting myself in court by trying to avoid conflict by not going to my child’s mother’s house with her boyfriend there?

My child’s mother has a new boyfriend (one of many) since we split and I’m trying to avoid confrontation with her new boyfriend. We don’t get along well and the only way I can see my child is if I go to her home. I don’t feel comfortable there and I really want to see our child. Am I hurting myself in court by not wanting to go and be there to avoid conflict? Is there anything thing I can do?


First, it’s great that you are avoiding conflict with the new boyfriend. Conflict with him will only add tension to your child’s home.

I am uncertain why you are only seeing your child at the mother’s house. Is this court ordered? If there is no court order in place then you have equal rights to access with your child and you can see him/her at all reasonable times and places. If your child is school-aged, you can always visit him/her at school.

Perhaps a reasonable and temporary solution is for you to your child at her mother’s house or at a park with one of her friends nearby. If you do this a few times she should see that you love and care for your child and that you will always bring the child back.

Finally, I think you are right that you are hurting your case and your relationship with your child by not seeing him/her. You can endure a few obnoxious comments and dirty looks to see your child. If you can’t work something out with the mother, then you should file a Petition for Custody or Visitation with the Court TODAY. Good luck.

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